I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
false alarm, still single
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize