Cold hands, warm shart.
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Randomize
