i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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