It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
