He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Randomize
