It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize