i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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