She's JV to your varsity
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
