do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize
