someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize