the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Randomize
