It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Randomize
