He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I just found puke in my bra..
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
