Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
