Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
