Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
