let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
