Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
