honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
