What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
