i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
