do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Randomize
