I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
