If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize