i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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