god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
