i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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