franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
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