Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
If I die, sorry about rent.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
