She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
