He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize