I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
