ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
