Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize