but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
He shit in the fireplace
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize