some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
