We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
