it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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