I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
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