Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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