OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Pants 0. Shit 1.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
