Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
