It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
