So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Randomize
