How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
