It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
well I can't set my house on fire every night
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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