I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
