i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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