Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
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