Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
