"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
