How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
