I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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