you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
