I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
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