I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Randomize
