Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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