I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Randomize