i may or may not be watching the land before time
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
