does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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