who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
