I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
