yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
You need a sexual gate keeper
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
