why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Randomize
