Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize