i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
me + whiskey = a bad person
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
