The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
