I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
