She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize