I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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